Lacklustre offerings at festival bars can often leave whisky lovers disappointed. With strict rules around bringing drinks, and glass, into festival grounds, Matt Evans has tracked down five quirky, campsite-friendly hip flasks.
Glastonbury, perhaps the UK’s best-known music festival, is set to kick off on 26 June. However, the festival bars – catering to around 175,000 thirsty revellers – are often the least exciting part of the experience, full of long queues, overpriced beer and mixed drinks in flimsy plastic cups.
Unlike most festivals, Glastonbury allows you to bring along a ‘reasonable’ level of alcohol for personal use, provided it’s not in glass. This means you can skip the queues for the bar and share some great whisky around the campsite, but you’ll need to store it in a festival-acceptable fashion.
Enter this selection of unusual hip flasks, designed to surprise your friends as they discover your umbrella or book is actually a crafty container. Whether you’re camping or glamping, dodge the queues and drink better with quirky flasks for every occasion.
The Umbrella
Rain, rain, go away: This flask is one for outdoor festivals – provided there are no showers
The BoozeBrella from SmuggleMug is a fairly straightforward screw-top flask which boasts an outer cloth coating designed to look like a folded micro-umbrella, and comes with foam pressure-sensitive safety seals to ensure no leaks.
The BoozeBrella may look very convincing once screwed shut and, when filled with 235ml of whisky, it ‘will feel around the same weight as a standard umbrella’, according to SmuggleMug founder Scott Gallacher. However, those hoping for a two-in-one solution for staying lubricated and dry during an outdoor festival will be disappointed by the absence of the BoozeBrella’s brolly functionality.
The Binoculars
Mix it up: The dual flask helps festival-goers bring multiple drams or cocktails to events
The Binoculars Double Flask holds 453ml of liquid and two different drams simultaneously, meaning enterprising drinkers can run impromptu comparison tastings at the campsite, or fill the flask with different cocktails.
Rubber grips and a hands-free neck strap ensure the binoculars look the part. However, anyone looking to actually see the stage from the back will be out of luck, as, just like the BoozeBrella, the Binocktails flask doesn’t double-up as the real deal.
The Body Spray
Discreet dram: The can’s size makes it easy to carry for tent- and stage-hopping revellers
Another 235ml flask, the central part of the Bev-Can Secret Body Spray Flask is comprised of sturdy aluminium with a screw-top plastic lid. Great lengths have been taken to ensure the flask matches a real body spray can as closely as possible: the plastic casing on the lid mimics the nozzle, the label bears a close match to the Lynx logo (an inverted ‘N’ is the only change) while the metal bottle is only 35ml bigger than an actual can of Lynx body spray.
All this is designed to fool those giving the flask only a cursory glance (although you may turn a few heads as you take a sip from a can of ‘deodrant’). The lid doesn’t turn in the way a real spray would, but the flask’s convincing look means it’ll be a welcome surprise for your friends during the big reveal.
The Good Book
Holy spirit: The bible-style book is a ‘virtuous’ flask for festival-goers
At a mere 115ml, the Flask In A Book contains a smaller volume than any other flask on this list. The simple stainless-steel flask looks quite ordinary on its own, but its secret lies in the packaging: a bible-style book with pages full of cut-outs designed to snugly store the flask.
The book is hardback to provide a sturdier box for its valuable payload, complete with an elastic strap to ensure the box stays closed. The separate pages keep it looking realistic from the outside, but the cover design, however, is hardly the most convincing – a blank King James Bible might draw less attention than a garish design literally bearing the words ‘The Good Book’. The aesthetic seems very much in line with the gag gift it’s meant to be, so you can always fill the flask inside with the real gift – a drop of one of your truly special drams.
The Paddle Brush
Mid-festival maintenance: Keeping barnets tidy long after the whisky has gone
The Bev-Brush Paddle Brush Flask makes for a functional tool as well as a receptacle for your secret stash of whisky. Its 170.5ml capacity is concealed in a hollow inside a soft rubber-bristled hairbrush with a mirror on one side.
The advantage of the Paddle Brush Flask is that once the booze has run dry, it’s still got its uses. The slightly smaller flask size means you’re getting less bang for your buck than some of the other items on the list, but the idea of bringing one of your favourite drams to a festival is predicated on the idea that you’re drinking less, but better.
